The Asylum Confessions: Murder for Hire by Jack Steen

Author:Jack Steen [Steen, Jack]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2024-02-12T00:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER

THIRTEEN

SHANNON TO JACK

I think it’s safe to say that I hated Zachary. Do you blame me?

I was a child when we married, but thanks to him and his abuse, I grew to be a strong woman.

Some women break when they’re faced with horrific and nasty partners. Other women find ways to dig deep roots and weather the storm. I’m not saying being in an abusive relationship is okay, or am I condemning or praising women for how to handle that abuse? I’m just saying we all are different.

Abusive relationships, especially for the women in this place, are a common theme; have you ever noticed that?

Most of us break, at least, most of the women in here broke a long time ago.

Did I? I must have, I guess.

At the time, I would have said no, that I only grew stronger and more resilient, that I dug deep and found strength I had no idea resided in me.

Looking back, I’ll admit that Zachary broke me.

He did it on purpose, too.

But I don’t think he anticipated the outcome.

See…the me in high school was a strong, vibrant, confident girl who believed I could do anything I put my mind to.

The me within my marriage was a weak, bland mouse of a girl who only tried to survive each day.

Zachary’s goal was to break me and then mold me into the wife he thought he deserved, and when that didn’t work, his anger grew and intensified, and I always paid the price.

Losing our baby was a blessing in disguise.

While I was pregnant, all I focused on was the day I could hold my baby in my arms and be loved by someone so pure and innocent.

Any thoughts for the future were focused on my child’s happiness and safety. I was an afterthought.

Once I lost that baby, I knew it was either find myself or one day Zachary would end up killing me.

All the little steps I took were in full defiance. Getting that job behind his back was the best thing I could have done for myself, truth be told. It not only gave me a little financial freedom, but independence too. I also discovered ‘me’, if that makes any sense to you.

I was reminded of who I was before him, of my dreams and goals, and the fact I was a person that mattered.

That job, that life, that marriage shaped me into who I am today.

I won’t say for better or worse because who I am is who I am, and there’s no changing that.

I wouldn’t change me for anyone or anything.

If I could go back…I’d do it all over again and yes, even marrying Zachary.

Living with regrets is wasteful, don’t you think?

Of course, you know what happened, right?

Zachary ate all the chocolates as we were painting the living room walls.

Or rather, he sat at the table and ate them while drinking beer and getting wasted while instructing me on how to properly paint the walls. As if the man would get his hands

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